A friend called me a few weeks ago. As I talked to her, I realized she was having an experience so many people have.
She wanted something, but she was getting in her own way from getting it.
She had just received an email from one of her clients. It said, “Thank you. I look forward to seeing you this afternoon.”
Backstory. My friend is a real estate agent. Her client owns a multi-million dollar house, and this house was my friend’s first multi-million dollar listing. It represents a BIG jump in her real estate practice.
“What’s wrong with it?” I asked, confused.
“There’s no emotion! No exclamation points! What if she’s having second thoughts?” My friend’s words tumbled like clothes in a dryer. “Maybe she’s NOT excited like I am. Maybe she doesn’t want to work with me after all!”
I quietly chuckled to myself. I knew what her brain was doing.
When we make big leaps—even when we WANT to make them—our brains freak out. Big leaps feel scary. Our brains go on high alert for red flags.
Hers was “filling in the blanks” with lies, considering a million “what if” scenarios that would never happen, and making everything personal.
(How many times has YOUR brain freaked out like that?)
I coached her off the ledge.
“What’s your client like?” I asked.
“She’s a no-nonsense, straight shooter.”
“Okay, there you go….that’s how straight-shooters talk. No exclamation points. Your client said what she meant and she meant what she said. She’s looking forward to seeing you this afternoon.”
We talked some more. I told her what her brain was doing. I explained that to get to her 10th multi-million dollar listing she’d have to endure the discomfort of the first one. I asked her a few more questions. Based on her answers, I told her she could trust that everything was going perfectly. I explained why. I gave her some concrete tasks.
By the time we were done, my friend’s voice didn’t sound panicky anymore. Her words had slowed down to normal. I asked her how she felt. She said, “calm and relaxed.”
This is coaching. Helping clients navigate their discomfort and THOUGHTS so they can create the life of their dreams.
I felt alive. I felt fulfilled. I felt energized.
P.S. If you want to tap into an expert who can “talk you off the ledge” every time your brain freaks out, let’s chat! <3